The Theatre Skit

Ok, first I have to say this: I’m sorry that I haven’t been making any new posts on anything lately. But that’s really not my fault. I have had a lot of work to do lately and just received another project today. Ugh. But on the upside, I do have a new post that was an idea of school.

All of this week, and a few days last week in Intro-To-Theatre, we have been planning our own short skits and today we presented our final skits to the rest of the class. The skit that I’m going to show (in script form) was created by three other girls in my class.

I’ve got to warn you now; this skit was made for two reasons only. 1.) This was made as a project. 2.) Entertainment. This was not supposed to be offensive, just funny. My mom thought that it was sacrilegious. If you get offended easily, or you’re my dad, I wouldn’t suggest reading it. But it’s only a suggestion :p

The three people that made it our Leanne, Kelly, and Tara.

Leanne and Kelly are sitting in church. Leanne is on the left, and Kelly is in the center seat. Tara hurries in late and sits down next to Kelly, who, until this point, had been bored and slumped in her seat. Now she perks up and Leanne is still listening intently.

Tara: What did I miss?

Leanne: Not much, the pastor is just finishing his two minute rant about how he missed breakfast this morning.

Kelly: I wonder what pastors eat for breakfast. Do you think they have a bowl of Holy-O’s?

Tara: I bet they have a glass of wine on the side.

Kelly: Or in the cereal. That would explain why he’s always so full of the cup of the lord if you know what I mean.

Leanne: Shh! Mrs.Wheeler is staring at us!

Tara: No she’s not. Besides, she’s blind as a bat.

Leanne She probably still knows that it’s us talking!

Tara: Who cares?

Kelly looks over at her and waves like in the Little Rascals. :mrgreen:

Leanne begins to pay attention again and Kelly and Tara slump down in their seats uninterested. A few moments pass.

Kelly: I wonder if when the world ends, God will run through a field of flowers naked.

Tara: Cool! That would make God a hippie!

Leanne: Will you two be quiet?!

Kelly: (Ignoring her). I bet he has like an acoustic guitar and everything.

Tara: Yeah, you’re right!

Kelly: Hey, if God was a hippie, then wouldn’t that make Jesus a punk-rocker?

Tara: Jesus must have been like, “No dad, I don’t wanna die! Ugh, fine!”

Kelly: Yeah and Mary was one of those stay-at-home moms who wears business suits. “Jesus, breakfast is ready!”

Tara: And Jesus was all “Mom, I told you to call me Jose!”

Leanne: Oh my G….

Kelly&Tara: Yeah do it! Say it! Say oh my God!

Leanne: No, I will not take the Lord’s name in vain.

Tara: Fine,…partypooper.

After a few moments of silence….

Tara: I’ll be right back, I’m gonna go get a hymnal, these tunes are kind of catchy.

Kelly: Psst! Leanne, come to the bathroom with me.

Leanne: No, go by yourself.

Kelly: Oh come on, these bathrooms are like freaking Harry Potter!

Leanne: No ghost is going to come out of the toilet and bite you in the butt.

Kelly: Fine, I’ll hold it.

Tara: Back.

Tara: ….I bet Satan’s a nerd.

Kelly: What?

Tara: Yeah, you know, ‘cause people always say someday nerds will rule the world.

Kelly: Oh my God! Bill Gates is Satan!

Leanne can’t take it anymore and finally cracks. She jumps up and starts shouting.

Leanne: Oh my God! Will you two shut up? You’re so disrespectful!

Kelly and Tara make crosses on their faces and pretend to be praying and acting all innocent as Leanne stalks off and the scene ends.

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